You wanna know what’s super fun and equally terrifying about being an adult? You can do whatever you want. Two nights ago, I was craving pork dumplings. Yesterday, I made pork dumplings. See what I mean — whatever. you. goddamn. want. Yeah, I like to live on the edge. I’m edgy. I wear black, sometimes. I also have twelve piercings and was emo in high school. Like I said, super edgy.

I’ve never made dumplings before so, while I’m always open to critique (though I am stubborn as f*ck and likely won’t take your advice until three months from now when I realize you’re right), please be nice as I am admittedly a n00b. I am aware that I rolled my wrappers too fat *insert joint joke here* (no, I’m not talking about arthritis) and that my pleats are sloppy as hellllll. Practice makes perfect, aiight? Even though perfection is obviously and undeniably a fallacy.

Now, I live in the least diverse place in all of the United States so there is nowhere to buy dumpling wrappers. I’m lucky my local grocery store sells soy sauce. This meant that I would be making dumpling dough from scratch — an initially intimidating task, until I realized just how easy it is.

All you need is flour, water, and salt.

I think I used a 2 cups flour, 1 cup of warm water, and 1 tsp of salt, but in full transparency, I was not counting. (This is why I do not bake breads).

I mixed it all in a bowl, and then kneaded in on the counter for a good minute. Then I put it back in the bowl and let it sit for 15 minutes. Then I kneaded it again and let it sit for a good 30 minutes. (Ok, more like 25 — I’m impatient. This is why I do not bake. We’ve been over this).

Once my dough’s timeout was up, I took her out of her bowl and gently rolled her into a donut, creating a hole in the center and gradually expanding until she was a thin tube. Then, I used my benchscraper to cut her into small pieces. That sound dark. I’m going to stop referring to the dough as human.

Next, I rolled the dough into small balls. If you want to do the bao shape that I did, you’ll want to roll your balls so they’re approximately 3/4 inches in diameter. If you’re looking to fold a gyoza shape, definitely roll them a bit smaller.

Once you have your dough balls, use your rolling pin to flatten them into discs.

Now you’re ready to stuff your dumplings! (See why I stopped referring to the dough as human).

For my dumpling filling, I used:

• 1 pound ground pork
• 1 egg (tho I think I’d recommend using 2)
• 1 bundle scallion whites (save the greens for dipping sauce)
• 1/2-1 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tsp sesame oil
• 2 cloves minced garlic
• 1 tbsp minced ginger

Most pork dumpling recipes include napa cabbage, but I forgot to grab that at the grocery store. I’m human, alright?

All you’re doing is whisking those ingredients together in a bowl. You want the pork to get to a sort of smooth, sticky consistency.

Once your filling is mixed, take a spoonful of it and place it in the center of your wrapper. You want to sort of cradle your wrapper in one hand, and then pleat it with your dominant hand. Like I said, this is going to take practice.

Time to pan fry! You can also steam them, if you prefer that. Personally, I like a lil’ crunch on my dumplings.

Pan frying feels intimidating to me — I’m always afraid I’m gonna set the house on fire — but it’s simple.

Heat a pan with a neutral oil — I’d recommend canola for this. Once your oil is shimmering, pop in your dumplings. You don’t want your dumplings to touch, or they’ll stick together and rip the wrappers you so lovingly made.

Cook the dumplings for about 2 minutes, then turn the heat down for a minute. Place a lid over your pan, crack it open a bit, and pour about 1/4-1/2 cup water in and quickly close the lid. I have no idea if this is how you’re supposed to pan fry, but this is what worked for me.

Steam your dumplings for 15-20 minutes, until your pork is fully cooked.

And you’re done!

If you want to add a chili soy sauce dip with these dumplings, I highly recommend it. All you need is a pinch of chili flakes, the greens of your scallions, and soy sauce — combine them in a bowl around the same time you pop your dumplings in the pan to let the chili infuse into the soy sauce while your dumplings cook.